"If going dark is suppose to be setting up boundaries for him, then what does she do after going dark if he doesn't "move closer"?"
She set the boundary. She says "this is not what I want". She does not want a man that chose OW. Ultimately.. she will be better off. I.. nor anyone here wants to "force" someone to "Love" them.
Of course she will have to stand behind the words. DB'ing is never about saving the marriage. Its about doing something different and hoping you win. "Icing on the cake." All the mods will agree with that. This.. is the only way she (blindsided1) will win. She will be better. She will learn. Sucks it has to happen this way.
"if she's setting a boundary, it would seem like she would have to continue going dark, otherwise the boundary/consequence has no meaning."
Is that not what she is doing now?
He set a boundary.. I am leaving. She chased him (drew closer).. Again "you can't do this to me".
He adjusted.. I have OP now.
Long story short.. she is still chasing him. Please come back. You can't do this. We have a family to think about. What are you doing. Where are you when I need you?
"am I reading that wrong? or what would you suggest?"
No you are not reading it wrong.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
