Drowning still - 23 years, feel like I am sinking

[CBK]

Puppy - I scaped the bottom on Monday- don't want to be there again. I have never felt hurt like that and self-pitty. I didn't like me, how in the heck would anybody else. This board pulled me up by my boot straps and slapped me around.

So many things I revisited the other day, my faith, my family, my well-being, and so much more. Tonight, when I go to bed, I am going to look forward to what hurdles will be put in front of me tomorrow. God doesn't give the easy assignments to the weak (at least that is what I keep telling myself) ;-)

The big hurdle tomorrow will be MC - which I hate to call it that since there is no counseling toward marriage, we should rename that to something else. I am going to ask what our goals are and that I need to work on me for awhile before we can work on us, even as friends right now - or something like that. If W finds them valuable, then maybe we can do them monthly - but why on earth should I put myself through that h3ll each week. Also, good news, I have my DB coach in the AM, I am looking forward to it. I am still working on step one, get the negative energy out of the house - that will take some time, but I am proud of myself today, first time in a loooong time.

Thanks for checking up on me Puppy.

Peace,

CBK