I do have a question though. and the only reason why I think B should go dark for a little while is only for her sake, not for the M. and because (sorry B, but) I don't feel she has DB'd truly this whole time either. maybe some of the time. but I'm not sure it's going to get any better, so going dark will maybe help her get over her dependency of H.
okay, here's my question. If going dark is suppose to be setting up boundaries for him, then what does she do after going dark if he doesn't "move closer"? if she's setting a boundary, it would seem like she would have to continue going dark, otherwise the boundary/consequence has no meaning. am I reading that wrong? or what would you suggest? just curious. thanks
Blindsided, thanks for sharing your non-H things with us B. true, not exactly what I expected, since it sounded like you were just making a list for a class that you don't like.
When you talk about H, you have a lot of emotion attached to it, (of course, I know) so what do you think you can do to start getting some emotion attached to the non-H things you do? and it doesn't have to be sad emotion, it can be uplifting, like your nephews 1st communion. or the Angel's game you went to.
Do you understand what I'm getting at? It really hit me this week about how much time your H has/is consumed your mind. I believe if you can purposely start fixating yourself on non-H things that are positive, like the 1st communion, and start sharing about those kinds of things with more passion, then your desire and dependency for H will lessen. just MHO.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
