Help Me Act AS IF, Part 5

[newnamenewlife]

Good to hear from you, Grace--how have you been? Haven't seen your thread lately.

I went to IC today. C said something interesting, which was that despite all the hurtful things H has been saying and doing to me, HE seems to feel like the victim. He has been so angry and cold toward me.

It makes me so terribly sad to feel such pain and anger toward my H, since my perception is that we have had a loving, mutually respectful R for most of our time together. It's so awful and truly sickening to suddenly feel like your best friend has turned into almost an enemy, you know? Awful.

If/when our M really ends, what do I make of it--the love letters, the wedding album, the 19 years together, photos, kids, etc? Was it all a sham if it ended like this? How do you ever look at that stuff again? How can it not be torture?