Ditto! Thanks for the quick response. I do appreciate the insight. I know that I haven't made nearly as many changes in our situation as I need too (not just for marriage but for me too). As I just told lodo, fake it until you make it("as if" action.) kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
puppy, jeff, kat, and karen...thank you so much for the support. I'm only strong because of everyone on here's help. If it wasn't for this forum (seriously) I don't know if I would have done the right thing. It's still hard. Every day is hard. But, every day is a little better.
Kat, make those changes you need to make for your marriage and yourself. It will make a difference. If only my H had done some things sooner, I would have come back sooner and he would have looked a lot more attractive to me had he changed himself for the better.
I got that affair book. GOing to read in it tonight before H gets home from late shift.
Latest little scoop- Things between H and I are good. He is hugging me all the time (not normal for him)and is asking me about things (again, not normal for him). He is telling me things about his day and work (not normal for him) and I am interested in what he is telling me (not normal for me). I want to hug him back (not normal for me) and I am missing him when he is gone (not normal for me). All in all, things seem good. That is until he gets to thinking about my A again and wants to talk about it......I'm dreading it.
I thought about OM again today....not as much as usual but on my mind still. I got myself busy as soon as I could so I didn't dwell on it. My house is becoming amazingly spotless like never before!
I think all you have to do to change your name is clik on My Stuff... then My Profile... then about half way down you can change your "display name". I hope this helps.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
May I call you Didi? I noticed Sara called you that in one of her posts. I like that she found an easy name in the middle of your long one.
I've been reading your thread. Thank you so much for sharing the other side of this. It is so nice to see someone who is on the other side trying to save their marriage. It gives us lots of insight into the mind of the WAS.
I read a book that I thought was about a LBS, but it was more for the WAS. It was called "When Love Dies - How to Save a Hopeless Marriage" by Judy Bodmer. I think it might give you some insight and show you that your feelings are not that unusual given the hectic life we all live. It can be found on amazon.com.
Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
whatdidido: Things between H and I are good. He is hugging me all the time (not normal for him)and is asking me about things (again, not normal for him). He is telling me things about his day and work (not normal for him) and I am interested in what he is telling me (not normal for me). I want to hug him back (not normal for me) and I am missing him when he is gone (not normal for me). All in all, things seem good.
Tell you H this stuff, guide your H in the right direction. As a guy, we don't have a clue what women want or what women mean or what women are thinking. This is true
Tell him I like it when you hug me, it makes me want to hug you back. Tell him you like it when he tells you about his day, tell him that when he is gone you miss him. Be direct and keep it short, we get confused really quick
I think you will see a change in him you wouldn't have expected. And every time he hits that soft spot in your heart, let him know he's on target.
1 Corinthians 13 (New Living Translation) 13:4-7 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
I'm doing everything I can think of, trying to follow Gods will, forgivness, patience and love
Improve, Protect, Love
M45 W41 D9, D6, D6, S5 M 10 years 2 Dogs, 1 Cat OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me PA confirmed 03/08 and still going ???