No, I wouldn't say reconciling--I'm not sure what you would call it. He calls me all the time, but not sure how he really feels about me. He doesn't say he loves me and there is no signs of affection when we are together. We haven't had an R talk for about a year.
He didn't show up for the divorce hearing and called me later that afternoon saying he was confused. He is NOT good at communicating, so I have always had to read between the lines. When I asked him if he was trying to say he wanted to get back together, he said he didn't know--he was confused. He was still with OW, but he was planning on ending it with her.
He told me he ended it, but I know he still sees her as he lives with her son. Ever since then, he has been saying off and on that he wants to come back. He throws out a date but it comes and he hasn't moved.
Since Christmas, the last date he said, I've stopped wondering why he hasn't yet and I never asked him why he didn't. He doesn't act like we're together, we don't do anything together--the only thing he does is call me daily, sometimes twice or more a day. Not sure why--maybe it's guilt since he hasn't paid child support or 1/2 of the mortgage, taxes, and insurance payment that he agreed to in our divorce since November. We still co-own our house--he didn't want to sell it.
I've never asked him for the money because I know he doesn't have it. I know he really feels bad about it, but he deals with it by drinking and not taking action. I can't do anything about that.
What I decided to do was become financially independent of him. I wanted to do this for me. The best thing I've done so far is get a part-time job at a wine/beer bar that a friend of my sister's opened about a month ago. It is so much fun and the tips are great. I work Friday nights right now, so after my regular job, I go there. I will be picking up another night, either Weds. or Saturday, in the next coming weeks. It gets me out of the house and I've met some really nice people.
Sorry for the long reply! I guess the short answer is no. I'm not planning on anything. I decided to go forward with my life and whatever happens, happens. We're divorced, so there is no reason I couldn't date and I have no reason to be upset about what he does with his life.
He usually comes over once during the weekend, but I think that will be coming to an end soon since it doesn't do anything for me. I don't need to see him. I would like him to make our son a priority, but that doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon.
He still has a lot to work out and truthfully, I don't know if he ever will. I love him and would like nothing more for us to be back together, but it's up to him now. I've offered to help him any way I can and he knows I will. That's all I can do now.
Thanks for stopping by my thread! I really appreciate it.
