Originally Posted By: rop
CBK - Yes, I am not losing my kids, this is what also my parents and W keep telling me.... unfortunately I am the child of a divorced family, and my experience wasn't that positive, I am afraid of the story repeating itself...
Both my parents, remarried, and rebuild their lives and 2 new families. I don't feel I have 2 families though, or a large family, instead I ended up thinking I had none - those "new" families weren't MY family.



But the difference is in your sitch that if you get divorced you have already been through that experience and I'm sure will work very hard to make sure it doesn't happen to your kids! \:\) My relationship with my kids was always good, but is twice as strong b/c they are starting to realize what kind of person their dad is and see me as their stability or parent they can count on. And you will be that for your kids I'm sure! \:\)

You need to not feel so bad when rejected by your W. It is about them and I've read WAS are usually self-centered, selfish, narcissistic or whatever. I think a lot of the spouses I read about on here also are going through MLC as well (and I suspect mine as well). They are the ones that are messed up and not us! No we may not have been perfect & aren't perfect now (just like everyone else), but as you say that doesn't justify or rationalize your W's bad behavior.

I also firmly believe that most affairs end b/c the OP is dysfunctional and not a healthy, well-adjusted person. I think it is something like 90% of affairs don't work out. I think if the OP was healthy and well-adjusted they would not be having affairs with married people with kids!!! Karen

Me 53
D18, S24