Patti, my H is much like yours except that he never left physically but did in every other way. I think his ea/pa with ow is done but they will never cut all contact because 1)that would admit it was wrong and 2)there is a business connection that if broken would look very odd to the public. It's my choice to live with that or not. I've had months/years of positive baby steps from H but there is still a mountain to climb. Hard to climb a mountain by baby steps but it can be done. The few times of intimacy has been a 'flop' with my H too. I believe a man with his pride and stubborness would rather be a virgin by abstinance than admit he has a problem. Maybe I am way wrong and H gets all he needs from someone else, or I am such a turn off to him that he has no physical desire or arousal when I make myself available.
If your H was loving and intimate and you were getting sex, would ow in an apartment still be an issue? Just because you would get sex would that mean he is done with ow?
If you're ready to force a change regardless of the outcome then get on your horse and point it in the direction you want to go. Keep your spurs in the sides so you don't lose momentum until you're satisfied with the results you have gotten.
The other option you have is to poke along on the ride and enjoy the good times. You may have to jump some muddy spots, but when you look back it wasn't so bad.
Try and take the focus off what you do not have and build on what is good. Do you have more positives than negatives?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
