"I dont' want him doing his childcare in my home, I dont want him coming in and out freely from MY house, if I ever remarried I want his crap out of my home asap."
Pick your fights. Unless you are legally guaranteeing him access to your home for childcare or whatever, you can simply not let him use it (it will be YOUR house, right?)and have your locks changed at any time. If it isn't a legal fight, don't throw it into the mix now.
