I think this is hard when piecing starts. We all need to remember this and keep it up.
YES. We really must remember this.
Quote:
Do you think you two could plan something to do alone again like the game that you went to?
I've been thinking about this a lot, and I was thinking about going to a Giants' game. I'll have to check out their schedule for home games and see if any of them coincide with H's days off. I'll have to surprise him for once , and if he chooses not to go, then I will take S8 with me .
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
It seems like QT between you two is really going to have to be planned with your H's work schedule and 3 sons!
Yep, and the hardest thing is that there is ALWAYS a good chance that plans will fall through because of work. But I digress.
Well, in my eyes, here's more proof of my H's lack of effort towards spending QT together.
On Friday, he will be working day shift, so this means he will be free in the evening, and he doesn't have to go back into work until Saturday late afternoon.
MIL called yesterday while I was gone and left a message (which H heard - I know this because the message had been played before I got to it when I got home last night) saying that she would like the boys to visit her for a few hours Friday night. So after hearing that, I thought to myself, "Cool. Maybe H and I can go to dinner, a movie, or whatever. We'll see." Knowing he heard this message, I hoped maybe he thought the same thing. Wasn't expecting anything, just hoped.
Anyway, he called earlier this afternoon and said that a coworker might have an extra ticket to go to the A's game on Friday night. "If you're alright with it, I'd like to go if he asks me." There went my hope. Told him if he wanted to go, then it was fine. The kids weren't going to be home for the evening anyway. He asked where they were going, and I said, "Your mom called last night, remember? She said she wanted them to go over for a few hours on Friday night." He said, "Oh yeah, that's right. So is it cool if I go?"
Honestly, it's not cool. Did I not just talk to him about spending time together? Yet again, I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. He will be upset if I say I would rather he do something with me, and I screw myself by saying "go ahead and go" because I'm trying not to be "controlling". If I do say something, he will say to me, "I didn't say anything to you about going out with your friends."
Sucks. Totally sucks.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
You're right, I know. However, it makes me wonder just how many times I will have to sacrifice my own needs and wants until he sacrifices even once for me.
My H has said to me several times since he's been back, "(GF), you've got it made. You don't have to go out and work a real job. I do that so you can be home with the kids. You should be happy. I don't know of anyone who wouldn't want to be in your shoes and live the kind of life you do."
WTH.....He thinks because I get to stay home with the boys and not have to work a job like his that I should be happy. He provides for us, takes care of us, the bills are paid, we have a nice home in a nice neighborhood.....WTH am I "complaining" about? This all should make me happy, and I should just stop giving him "BS" about it.
He doesn't want to go to MC, he won't read any books, he doesn't want to REALLY LISTEN when I try to explain what love is for me. I know what it is for him - I "speak" it and he reciprocates in HIS LLs - but he won't hear me out when it comes to me and my LLs. It's just more "BS".
*Sigh*...Frustrating, to say the very least.
He says he doesn't care. I can go do my own thing, go hang out with friends and family, whatever, he doesn't care. Basically, he won't say anything to me, so I should do the same.
What a crappy way to deal with things.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
I'm sorry. I know it is frustrating. Maybe you are going to have to beat his friends to the punch. I know it is hard with the kids and his work schedule though.
I noticed that your continuance for the D is through 6/17/08?? Are there things that are going to have to happen for that to be taken off the table? If so what are they and is he aware? Maybe it is time for you two to sit down and talk about what you both need from this M.
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H can join us if he'd like.