so I got the new cell phone bill 2 days ago. H is still calling OW about 15-20 times a day!!!!!!!!! Confronted him about it and of course I got the "it's not what you think". Says he is only talking to her and calling so much because he is staying away.
I think it's exactly what you think! That is so lame. The whole thing from what I've read here is that when the WAS has contact with the OW (both phone and in person) that they are right back to where they started in the process. I don't think you can really work on a relationship when your H is so involved with the OW. I do think you should work on detaching from your H. Instead of flowers, I think your H needs to have NO contact with the OW including phone. Otherwise, I think you are right about detaching. You can't work on a marriage when 3 people are involved! Karen
That is so lame. The whole thing from what I've read here is that when the WAS has contact with the OW (both phone and in person) that they are right back to where they started in the process. I don't think you can really work on a relationship when your H is so involved with the OW. I do think you should work on detaching from your H. Instead of flowers, I think your H needs to have NO contact with the OW including phone. Otherwise, I think you are right about detaching. You can't work on a marriage when 3 people are involved! 
Karen