I am not hopeful right now if you read the update on my sitch. Your thread makes my heartbreak. Not for you, but myself. I pray that you continue what you are doing. I know I shouldn't feel sorry for myself but i cant help it.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
I will continue what I am doing. I was a fool. Your wife is not realizing this yet. I am realizing how lucky I am that I have this chance. You have lots of support on here, and keep going to God. I'm thinking about you.
Wow, whatdidido, your H is very lucky, we all hope our W eventually will come back, I'm just starting out on this journey from hell, approx 8 months into it right now.
take your time, it sound like you found what you want, please forgive H if he gets mad, thinking of my W and OM is so depressing, even if she were to tell me its over, I'm still going to have some trust issues. I cannot believe how far you have gone to prove to your H that its over.
I wanted to drop you a note to say, good for you, we are all pulling for you and I would also like to acknowledge you for what you are doing here helping out others. You seem like a breath of fresh air, its nice to get the prospective from the other side of the story.
Please keep posting, you are helping out here more than you know.
M45 W41 D9,D6,D6,S5 2 Dogs, 1 Cat OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me PA confirmed 03/08 and still going ???
Thanks, Jeff. I am so glad that I found this forum. I really was close to making a bad decision. I needed people to talk me in the right direction. I wish I had found it earlier. Have any of you thought of giving the DB book to your spouses? I'm not sure I woudl have read it at that time....but I may have....I don't know.
I am giving my H time. I do understand his anger. We are really doing good lately. I just keep with my hope that the feelings will be stronger and stronger with H. I am trusting what the books say and hoping they are right. I know what I want now, I just need to keep on putting forth the effort to get it.
Thanks, Jeff. I am so glad that I found this forum. I really was close to making a bad decision. I needed people to talk me in the right direction. I wish I had found it earlier. Have any of you thought of giving the DB book to your spouses? I'm not sure I woudl have read it at that time....but I may have....I don't know.
I am giving my H time. I do understand his anger. We are really doing good lately. I just keep with my hope that the feelings will be stronger and stronger with H. I am trusting what the books say and hoping they are right. I know what I want now, I just need to keep on putting forth the effort to get it.
Thanks for posting. As so many have said it does help to get another perspective. Do you remember what helped the "fog" lift for you? Was it something your H said or did or did you just kind of come face to face with what had happened in your marriage? Thanks for your help. kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
kat- For me, it was this: 1. My H started to finally do something to change himself and started doing the 180 thing. He made me have hope for our marriage when I thought there was none. I saw that our life together could be different than the way before. 2. The OM wanted to push to the next level and I had to make a decision. 3. I didn't want to be a part time mom. I thought, "I may be happier with another man, but would I be miserable with that other man if I don't have my kids?" It made it worth it to me to do whatever it takes to get us happy and working. 4. I have always had guilt for what I was doing. I got to the point, after I saw H's changes, that I thought to myself...now, if he asks or whatever, I have to be prepared to tell him about the A. Once I did, the OM had less meaning to me.....realized that I didn't "love" them as much as I thought.
I'm glad I can help. At least my sin has some benefit to others. That's the only thing it was good for. I guess it did finally help my H open his eyes.....I could have done that in a different way, though. All in all, I wish I could take back it all.
your going to have to change your post name to wheredidiendup, everyone wants your opinion.
As I said before
Quote:
I would also like to acknowledge you for what you are doing here helping out others. You seem like a breath of fresh air, its nice to get the prospective from the other side of the story.
Improve, Protect, Love
M45 W41 D9, D6, D6, S5 2 Dogs, 1 Cat M 10 years OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me PA confirmed 03/08 and still going ???
your going to have to change your post name to wheredidiendup, everyone wants your opinion.
As I said before
Quote:
I would also like to acknowledge you for what you are doing here helping out others. You seem like a breath of fresh air, its nice to get the prospective from the other side of the story.
Improve, Protect, Love
M45 W41 D9, D6, D6, S5 2 Dogs, 1 Cat M 10 years OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me PA confirmed 03/08 and still going ???
I 2nd Jeff's motion for a name change, to better reflect WDID's newfound strength, courage and fidelity! All those in favor???
