Thanks GL, there will be no pressure from me. At least what this showed me is that she still has at least some interest as I feel she was checking up on me. Maybe not but that is the way I see it anyway. I will also not overdo this, S10 has ball practice tonight so I will act as if and go out there and help the practice as I have the past few weeks.
I just feel that I am taking some control back for myself. This is a good feeling as I feel I have been drug through the cleaners these last few months. I know I will make some mistakes along the way but I am continuing to change my whole outlook on how this works. I have to turn the roleplay and that would never happen if I acted needed and wouldn't let her go. I think I am starting to see how this is suppose to work, only time will tell.
I just feel that I am taking some control back for myself. This is a good feeling as I feel I have been drug through the cleaners these last few months. I know I will make some mistakes along the way but I am continuing to change my whole outlook on how this works.
Ping, you have the right attitude. You have made some changes in yourself, you are regaining control of your own life and W is starting to notice. W was probably curious when you left the baseball practise. It's good to create some mystery. I'm sure you will make mistakes along the way - we all do. The important thing is to get right back on track when you backslide.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Thanks Addie, I am feeling in a much better place right now. I will stay on this path and see what happens. I am trying not to do any backslides but as you know, we are all human and we do make mistakes.
Today was a pretty good day, S10 had ball practice tonight and I helped out with it. W was there and was sitting on the bleachers with other parents right behind where I was at so we had some good interactions. We talked about how S7's coach kept calling his name last night and telling him to make the plays, we both found that strange as it appeared our son was the only one being coached this way. She asked if that is the reason I left early last night, I told her no and left it at that.
It feels good to have conversations about things without worrying about feeling rejected, no pressure on either side. I can tell she is much more comfortable and not worrying about me bringing anything up.
I really hope I am making progress, she stated in the beginning of this that she wanted to keep everything professional so this is in the back of mind somewhat that the only reason she is being nice is so we can keep this all professional. I will not dwell on this as time will tell.
I pick kids up tomorrow from school so I will see W again tomorrow and S7 has a ballgame Friday night.
Patience, patience, patience, that is the only thing we all have to go on in these type of sitches.
You seem to be doing great! Your attitude is right on and you don't seem to be pushing at all. Keep up the DB'ing - I can onlyh hope to be as vigil as you on this someday!
CBK
M=46 W=47 M=24 (together 26) D21, S19 Bomb 3/16/08 OM 3/28/08 WAW moved out 5/16 Divorce final 10/09
CBK, believe me, it took me a long time to get to this stage. I found this board 4 months into my S and even then, I didn't hear what others were telling me until a couple of weeks ago. I have had some great posters to help me along the way. Something else I would encourage you to do if you haven't already, read up on the success stories on this board, they all have one thing in common, the LBS stopped persuing and got a life without their spouse. Then and only then did their WAS take notice of them again and decide to work on the M. There have been 4 M reconciled on this board this week alone, guess what they all had in common? You got it, they detached so something must be working with detaching as they are having success. Does that mean you or I will have success to save our M, no, but it does raise our chances from what we were doing a few weeks ago.
You're doing a fantastic job, ping -- I'm very impressed by your leaps and bounds over the last few weeks! You've had your game face on 24/7 with W, and are feeling good about yourself too. No matter what the outcome, you're definitely one of the people on the boards that is going to benefit greatly from this experience and your time on this site.
