God believes I'm worth it...

[cat03]

thanks so much everyone!! seeing all the options I am not thinking of is really really helping me think of the best options.

Just got off the phone with the loan lady. She brought to my attention that sooner or later I will have to refinance to get his name of the house, that legally he'd still have claims over it if I dont' take his name off the title. She suggested a refinance with cash out. She is doing numbers now and will email me the results in 1hr.

If this is the best way I pray pray I get a good rate and an amount I can afford. I told her I'd like to get 17k out as we had talked with stbx before and he rather have less $ now than more in the future. Countless of times he's told me how he'd be out of my hair/house if he get his$$, he'd have his own place and wouldnt have to come to the house to watch kids, he'd take them with him.
If the payment is low enough I should be able to afford it, and instead of paying stbx 230$ every month I'd pay the bank (the SA states that I pay him that much towards my debt, I can afford that much.)

In the horrible case he looses his job I'd cash my 401k and my family already told me they would loan me $$ if I needed it and pay the bank. This grief is not worth it, being tied to him legally for 5yrs isnt' worth it.

Why the heck did he just thought about me paying him all if I get married when were were all but done is beyond me. But perhaps is for the best, that way when I owe him nothing he doesnt have to come to my house for any reasons and I would have no ties to him.