Pregnant and heading for acceptance #2

[blindsided1]

Pregnant and heading for acceptance #1
Above is the link to my last post. I have reposted my last post below:
Nik - our incomes are comparable. I make slightly more than he, but that's because he was demoted because he was spending too much time in OW's department during business hours (a few hours at a time talking and hanging out when they were both supposed to be working). I would have loved it if she were demoted, as well.

RWS - lots of great info, thanks. I'm praying that he won't want the responsibility of 50/50 custody. I can't bear the idea of he and OW raising MY D. I have even considered the idea of telling him I would take less CS if he would agree to 80/20 custody. Money is a HUGE motivator for him. I believe it is more important than his anything else in his life. There is no way OW will be at the delivery. I wouldn't have to "take her out". My friends, family and in-laws would take care of that, easily.

ST- yes, I texted him "thank you" and let him know I was at the hospital w/diabetes counselor. I haven't heard from him since.

FG - 1) I will need more money from him on the 9th 2) it would be an emergency if something was wrong with me or the baby 3) I'm actually very active. I go out with friends a couple times a week. May is going to be incredibly busy. I have a ton of "baby classes" to take, every weekend I have some kind of event to go to. Last night I went to the Angels/A's baseball game. We had a suite and I had a blast. Granted, it was a long night for a pregnant woman. But, worth it.

SO2 - I remember when that happened to you. I remember how devastated you were. But, I also see how effective it was for you to cut his ass off. The birth of our D IS a priveledge. But, I don't want to deny him that moment even though I feel so hurt and betrayed by him. I would feel like I was doing it out of spite. So, I am praying that he doesn't "f" me over somehow before. Because if he does, he'll get a call from me AFTER our D is born.

My H is two people, I have known this from the beginning. He is a good guy in a white hat, then he is a bad guy in a black hat. He has always jumped back and forth... white hat, black hat, white hat, black hat. There is no in between with him, really. I'm not sure why that is. Sometimes I wonder if he isn't mentally unstable. I swear sometimes I wonder if he's bipolar. Right before we separated, he started going to see a therapist on his own. He was immediately put on Prozac. He took it for 2 days, moved out and stopped taking it and stopped going to the therapist. I just don't know. He's had issues since he was in high school. His Mom and I have often talked about how he behaves as though he was abused. She has even asked him about it and he says he was not. As much as I despise him sometimes, I worry about him.

So, here is my decision on the child birth classes/delivery. I am going to stick to the original plan and allow him to take the classes with me. He is supposed to be my coach. IF he decides that he doesn't want to be a part of it, I have a back up coach. IF he decides he does want to be there, 1) I am going to make it very clear that he needs to be there to help me get through it and if this is not his motivation, I would rather have someone there who WILL step up be there for me. 2) I am still planning on having my Mother there, also, and 3) I will make my decision as to whether or not I actually want him in the delivery room when it actually happens. I can always request he not be there if I feel too tense or unsettled or upset with him there. I know this is NOT cutting off communication, but I am just not at a place where I am comfortable going completely DARK. Perhaps I will get there, but right now, it creates a lot of inner turmoil for me