Okay, I think I did a good job DBing last night. H came over to see the kids. We were watching a TV show so I watched the last 10 minutes of it (he came over at almost 7:30) and then I went upstairs to workout and do some cleaning (and I read some also) while H was with the kids downstairs until 9.

We still need to resolve the issue of the kids' therapist. H didn't want them to see mine, but she has met with them once already and it went really well, and my shy non-talker S14 opened up and talked almost the whole time! I think H is scared she may testify about what the kids say about H if/when we divorce. But any good therapist will prob. have them talking about when he emotionally checked out the first part of his PA for several months, feelings they have about him moving out, etc.

What really upsets me is that he has never met or talked to the C, so he is just making an uninformed decision. I feel like I would just like him to talk to her once on the phone, and then if he felt the same way and didn't want her to see the kids I would agree and be supportive (well try to be anyway)! \:\) I think she is so sweet, smart, and friendly that he would have a hard time rejecting her, but if he still felt that way I guess I could agree more easily if he's at least talked to her! So I was going to email H today:

The kids' therapist (her name) has developed a good rapport with the kids and I think she did a great job of getting the kids to talk about their feelings. I would feel better if you didn't dismiss her without at least talking to her once. If you talked to her and still feel the same way, that we should try another therapist, then I would agree and be supportive. I think that seems like a fair compromise to this problem and hope you will agree.

Do you think this is ok to send (remember H is a lawyer) and if so, if I should make any changes? Sometimes I wish I was a lawyer so I'd be better at this stuff, but then I think, no way!

Karen

Me 53
D18, S24