God believes I'm worth it...

[cat03]

His income should not be being considered in your ability to repay...

it does Amy, I cannot afford to pay mortgage, my car, and everything else on my salary alone, I'd be hurting if I didnt' get CS from him, and if I had a loan wiht the unforgiving folks at the bank I could not make ends meet at all.

A friend of my sis who is a loan executive at the bank will be calling me any minute now to see about a loan anyways and about refinancing my home.

Phone ringing again, 3rd time stbx has called in the past 20mins.

[BigHands]

I see what she's getting, Amy. She's saying she needs the support he's going to pay to be able to pay the loan. Getting it isn't the problem, paying it is.

If I get it.

[cat03]

correct

[AmyC]

Then you can't do it, cat.
Not and rely on making the payments out of your child support.

Is that what you're saying you're going to have to do?

You're spreading yourself way too thin.

Am I missing something?

[BigHands]

I gotta go with Amy here. It's like trying to set a budget based on getting overtime.

Bad juju.

So, it's time to bite that thar bullet and just get out.

[AmyC]

Maybe you can refinance and get him a chunk of change.

Don't give him a dime without a quitclaim deed, though!!

[fig]

sell the damn house

jeepers creepers

lesser of two evils

you can not depend on him paying CS and you can't make the loan without it then sell the house

[cat03]

Houses on my are have lost value horribly, a home much better than mine is barely selling, I am fixing my house slowly as i'm broke, but even if all is in working condition the realtor I had coming over told me that if I broke even I'd be lucky, that the house would have to be put up as "a handyman's dream" unless I put 30k to redo the kitches and bathroom. Not even an investor would offer me anything (one came and never called back).

I'm calling the loan lady now and see if I can get some change to shut him up Amy.

[AmyC]

Ask about your equity.

[oldtimer]

"he thought he should have a say on who lives on the house"

Uh, NO.

Nor should he use your home for his parenting time. You have no idea how unhealthy this plan is. Ugghhh. It is not going to work.

He should not have free access to your home. He should not have a key for it even. Do you have one for his apartment?

He does not get to have an interest in your personal life or your financial decisions. And vice versa. He does not get to have access to your home, and vice versa. This is a divorce. You are not going to be friends anytime soon, if ever.

I'm with Fig, sell the house. Or, forget the loan and put it in your agreement that he doesn't have to pay the first $20,000 of child support in lieu of him getting off the deed for your house NOW and all of his stuff off your property NOW, being sure to specify how many months this is and the exact date on which he will have to start making support payments.

That way, it won't matter for a long time whether or not he loses his job or not, he won't be sending you child support anyway.

Talk to your L.