Drowning still - 23 years, feel like I am sinking

[CBK]

Puppy and DBD

Thanks for chiming in.

I have decided to go see the L and do as Puppy suggests - I am just need to protect myself and see what legal issues I should watch out for. I will not tell W unless she asks.

I am going to suggest that we back away from MC for the time being. I agree with everybody, that this is not good for me at this time. I will see how I should approach with IC today and my DB coach tomorrow. My DB coach said the same thing about MC, this is for people that want to work on their relationship. If W wants to continue, I will go from there.

I don't know what snooping would get me anymore. As you all know, I hit rock bottom the other day - every time I think I can't get down any further, I find a way and snooping is what gets me there. I need to look for the baby steps that may come down the road in a few months, not days.

I am hopeful my new attitude will stay strong. I know I will fall off track every now and then, but I know I can get back on the horse.

Phsically, I still see the most beautiful person in my wife and brings up so many great memories - I know that when I talk to her though, there is no love for me in her voice and that has been hard to accept, but I also know this is not the same woman I married. We have a lot of work to do.

DBD - I am hopeful that we can talk about our successes in a year or so - there is nothing I would enjoy more! Can't say I have been to Missouri, but there is always a first.

Peace,

CBK