Time to turn it around

[cw68]

Did he tell you it looked cancerous or did he send cells out for a biopsy? There's a difference and the questions you should bring with you on Saturday would be different. You should also ask the other doctor for a copy of his report from your D&C. Read it and bring it with to the doctor this Saturday, don't assume he'll just have the info.

[Maya44]

He said I have cancerous cells. That was the result of the 'sample' he took from me. Then the other doc did the D&C and said I just have very bad endometreosis. I'm very confused and hope all of the questions at my visit on Saturday clear the air some.

[Maya44]

I am having quite a hard time with D. She's just so defiant with me. No matter what I request, she's got to have an attitude about it. She's only 7 for goodness sake! She's fine around H though. He saw her yesterday since he can't make it Thursday and was completely fine while he hung out for a few minutes after bringing her home (we were only outside). As soon as he left, she's slamming doors, back talking, etc. Has anyone else dealt with this? How do I change it around? I don't believe in spanking a child at all. I did it the other day though and it only made both of us feel worse. So I'm not doing that again. Is she like this only because of H being gone so long? Does she need closure? Is this too confusing for her? I don't know and any advice would be appreciated.

[fig]

she is 7

she is acting how she is allowed to act

don't allow her to act that way

don't re-enforce her negative behavior...she gets a reaction from you when she acts badly...don't give her one

it's easy to turn everything into a battle
pick yours
I know it's hard but is slamming doors your battle? If it is...then fight it...if it's not, let it go...explain one time that we don't slam doors

if she keeps doing it
take her door off (I did)

they haven't slammed it since they got it back


don't justify her bad behavior
sure it's hard
sure she needs some extra love but it doesn't mean she can act that way

[Maya44]

Thanks Fig,

I don't really care about the slamming doors. I will though once the IL's have tenants upstairs from us again.

It's mostly the back talk, the sass, telling me she hates her life and herself. I don't know where she's heard this, but just yesterday she said "I wish I knew how to kill myself". WHAT?! She sees the school counselor already but maybe she needs more. I don't know. But other times, she'll get really sweet and nice and helpful and we have a great time. I don't get it. And she doesn't do this with H at all. He's the one she should be angry with!

[fig]

if she is 7 an dsaying that then yup

she needs counseling

[Maya44]

I've f'd her up with all this.

[fig]

nope

you haven't

if she is saying that kind of stuff she already had a tendancy toward that in her disposition

it's nothing anyone did

[Maya44]

She's never heard anyone say anything about killing themselves..unless she heard it at school. I think she said it in aggrevation for having to do homework so quickly before bedtime.

I don't want her f'd up like I am though. Not at all. My dad was VERY abusive and that's why I don't believe in spanking. I don't want her to have issues all because me and H are seperated though. If a divorce would help D get closure, then I'd have to consider that for sure since it would help D. But I think it's aggrevation on her part. I just wish she'd show it to H so he can see first hand how she's affected.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

She learned it somewhere fig.