I have a question for you if it is not too personal.
Is your Wife really and truly LD? Was she ever HD? I cried when I read part of your post and really cried LOTS OF TEARS when I read Nopkins version of letter to your WIFE. I used to be "HD" and became "LD" according to my H. I hurt him terribly and it has taken him years to recover from me being "LD" but under it all I was never really "LD" . I was in just as much pain as he was and it took a lot of pain and heartache and work for us to get to the "almost Happy" place we are today. Passionate Marriage is also a great book to read. I have read it over 3 times....There is so much under the suface of not making love or touching one another. There are layers and layers.... for me I did choose to work really hard to put aside all my baggage and make love before I felt the connection. It is really hard to look at yourself and know that you can cause someone you love so dearly so much pain. When I finally heard what my H said like you said here.....
Quote:
It blows all feelings of “maleness” right out of the water, makes me feel like I am lees of a man, and the cumulative effect is incredibly damaging to our chances for improving the marriage. I simply have no words to describe how painful it is to go to bed each night and wake up each morning with the single most enticing woman I have ever known, and know that not only can I not touch her, but that it feels to me, that she has absolutely no interest in being intimate with me. This has to change. I submit to you that our marriage DOES depend on it
I cried for a whole day off and on.
I also agree with what someone else posted to you. You need to go out and get strong on your own and not need you Wife but want her. This will take time but it can be done.
When my H told me I had to make him feel better and it was all my fault this put tremendous pressure on me.... I was supposed to then be this SUPER HOT Wife and also fix him at the same time? it seemed impossible to me. IT ACTUALLY IS.
What did you enjoy doing before you got Married what made you feel like a Man Then? One person can really change a Marriage... that much I can tell you. It will not happen overnite, but all things are possible. Get strong ....begin to go out and take life in... stop waiting for it to magically change or for her to read your mind~ Love and God Bless....
Ali, Thanks. Right now all Ican do is find me. I lost him somewhere along the line. I truly pray that we find a way, I find a way to get her to follow me. If not, I am resigned to the fact that I may have to decide to end this for my own survival. Life.
