Piecing or NOT....III

[tpaschal]

I think a major part of this is that her husband has not been a husband since he has returned (intimate).

I honestly am not sure how many men are like this when they return but this is the part that bugs me.

WELL THATS THE PART THAT BUGS ME...ALL THESE OTHER H'S DONT SEEM TO HAVE THAT PROBLEM, WHEN THEY COME HOME

That's the one thing that makes me think he still sees the OW

I read all of these comments, and knowing that an2m found out that her H was still seeing the OW (and being intimate with her?) last fall, it is very possible (maybe even very likely) that this is what is happening---he cannot bring himself to be intimate with an2m while he is being intimate with OW. It does seem like a lot of these MLC aliens have very screwed up perceptions about cheating, and who they are cheating ON. They are cheating on their LBS, of course! But they don't always seem to see it that way.


But then I re-read something else Patti said.....

it was good before MLC, but i could tell he was beginning to have problems.....took more oral stimulation...limper. but it still was good. like i said he used to say all those things about me that he said to her. so i wonder too. he says he doesnt see her, hasnt talked to her, ISNT sleeping with her....ive learned to be very direct in my questions. maybe he has an std. he doesnt want to talk about the sex part. all i can get is "im afraid" and "Im not having sex with anyone"
we did try once last fall...it was a flop...literally.

This makes me think there is at least the possibility that he's got some erectile dysfunction problems.

Just putting some thoughts out there that have been floating around in my head ever since I read the quote just above....

Maybe he really isn't having sex with anyone....because he can't. Maybe he can but it is so difficult to achieve intercourse that it embarrasses him, makes him feel less of a man, and that starts a vicious cycle. Maybe that contributed to the problems between him and OW.

And I don't mean the following in a hurtful way, so please don't take offense---maybe that is part of the reason he came home? Maybe he is ashamed at not being able to perform sexually, so he came home where it was "safe?" Patti has been so strong in standing for their M, maybe he thought she would love him unconditionally whether he could perform or not?

IF that's the case, though, then he maybe still hasn't worked through his MLC issues. If E.D. is the problem, he could get help for it. But if he hasn't worked through MLC, then what?

But whether it's E.D. or not being finished with MLC or being a cake-eater, the bottom line is that it seems he's not being completely honest.