I've been having some thoughts on detachment. Not only is it important for us to detach from our S's for our own emotional benefit, but I think the MLCer really has to detach from us as well. We need to allow them to do that. There is so much guilt that they are carrying around, I imagine it'd be very difficult to go back to the source of the guilt and pain and so much easier to keep running. I don't think truly loving someone means guilting them to death for the wrongs they have committed. By both sides detaching, it's almost as if you are able to start fresh with a clean slate when the time is right - two new changed people with an old connection, but without all the baggage. Ideally, each side would have worked on their issues independently during their time away from each other and would make a much better couple when reunited. ???
This probably goes against MC and working things out together as a couple, but it seems like MC doesn't always have the desired effect of bringing a couple closer together.
Upside: You're right about counting our blessings. Most of us are trying to get our lives back to "normal", but what is normal anyways? I often feel pressured to do what other people would do, or what is expected given my situation. But to this day, filing for a D doesn't feel right. That might change one day. I don't know. Just gotta keep living my life to the fullest and hope the rest falls in to place - just like you said.
