A Ray of Hope - I hope

[shinybear]

You okay honey?

Shiny

[Jeannine]

Hi Pam,

Glad to hear you've switched over to the "kiddie coaster". You really do sound so much more calm. I'm impressed by your progress.

Nope, no results yet. I have no idea when I'll be hearing anything. The doctor may want to wait until all the tests are completed, which at this point looks like Aug. 8th.

I have to go to my GYN today for a follow up test, been getting less than glowing results there too.

I think my body parts are expiring one by one!

Then I go in for my second C.A.T. scan on Wednesday. I'm really not looking forward to that now that I've had one already. The scan is no biggie, but the IV needle they use to run the iodine is!

I look like a junkie now. I have big bruises in both arms from the scan and the tubes of blood sucked out of me last week. Gads I'm a wimp when it comes to sharp objects.

Anyway, here I am, skinny, bruised, tired and emotionally frayed, but hey, other than that....

Jeannine

[Jeannine]

Hi Shiney,

I'm hanging in there.

I carry my "bb gang" with me inside my head where ever I go now. ( It's getting a wee bit crowded in here)

A mini conference kicks in whenever I feel unsure of myself (which would be pretty much always ) and then I just listen in.

I've also been clinging to my latest list of goals and actions as if it were the map from the "Blairs Witch Project".

Jeannine

[psluke]

Hi Jeannine,

You sound pretty even today. How are you doing?

I am still fighting stupid battles with myself!

I hate how this time of month makes me feel. But it always has had that effect on me! David could usually tell me by my emotions when it was close.

So hope your health improves, that they find out what needs to be done soon!

Take care and my thoughts are with you. I think of all you have to deal with when I get down on my sitch! So you are an inspiration for me at times!

{{{{{{{{Jeannine}}}}}}}}}

[Jeannine]

Hey Pam,

I just go numb sometimes. I kind of like it because it sure beats the "big pain". Wish it would last longer though.. Unfortunately, like pain medication, it wears off.

Anyway, "stupid" your battles aren't. "Real tough" is what they are.

I think of you often and check your thread most every day.

I'm here with you.

Jeannine

[KAW]

I carry my "bb gang" with me inside my head where ever I go now. ( It's getting a wee bit crowded in here)

A mini conference kicks in whenever I feel unsure of myself (which would be pretty much always ) and then I just listen in.

Boy, that must get interesting to see, especially if those cyber 2x4 start swinging in public.

Careful, Jeannine, to whom you might answer to ... or they're gonna want to do some other kind of testing.

'til later,
KAW

[sage]

A mini conference kicks in whenever I feel unsure of myself (which would be pretty much always ) and then I just listen in.

Do you actually picture us giving you individual counsel??? That's pretty cool.

How are you, my friend?

Sage

[psluke]

Hi Jeannine,

Well, if you find a way to get to that calm level place and stay there before I do I expect explicit directions!

Actually the battles within myself with my actions was what I was calling stupid. Sometimes, most times probably, I set myself back with David, more than anything external does.

And I do realize I am getting tons of positives and don't really have it bad. But it still hurts. I can't imagine being where some of these people are now. But I was where he was saying no chance and wanting to hurry D so I went through a small fire! Should have leveled out by now. Things are better.