Mike, you are making progress although you don't see it and your W is not acknowledging it. I don't know why she would want you not to put the car seat in the car for her unless she has something in the car she don't want you to see or she feels you will snoop to find something. During this time, I think this may make more sense than her just not wanting any help from you.
She has stopped calling you hun, have you stopped calling her what you use to call her before this happened? If not, then stop ASAP, that is pressure.
As far as your weight loss goes, man you have lost to much, 197 at 6'5", get yourself back to eating, have you been taking anything to help you sleep, I actually found that Tylenol PM worked much better than what my Dr. prescribed for me. I believe my first 2-3 months during this process I dropped around 20-25lbs, but have since put some back on as I am sleeping better at night and my appetite is coming back.
Hang in there Mike, I know it has to be very tough for you right now as you are still living with your W, believe it or not, this is a plus on your side that many of us on this site would like to have. Continue to make your changes, she will notice but don't count on her to tell you any of this.
