I have read that in NC, I can file on grounds of adultery...because there is no sep papers filed yet, and he has openly been with this woman and had my kids stay the night with her. He doesnt think that he has committed anything...since we arent living together. I guess he is also forgeting the other affair he admitted to having.
Im doing my research.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
funny how they dont see it that way...my h would never admitt it was an affair in fact he would look me in the eye and say it wasnt an affair....
ahh blaming...saw that one coming....he is so not cooked yet. he and ow make a nice parasitic couple huh?
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Why is it he blames ME? He is so guilty he has to put the blame anywhere but on him? To blame me to my face is one thing, but dont say that to my child.
He will only have our son this weekend.
Your right, he isnt through cooking yet!
I like my men well done!!!! He is still very rare....
Thanks Grace...Im glad i have my friends here.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Please don't take this as I'm telling you to get a D (I don't like D and only you will know when and if you'd want to do that), I'm just giving you info.
In my state adultry is grounds for an immediate D (with no separation) In my state, living apart means nothing in terms of adultry, you are still married and so it is still adultry.
Research is good, and having the info is good. It can help you feel stronger and yet you don't have to do anything at all with what you learn, but its in your back pocket.
Nature Girl M 40 H 40 M 15, T 19 D11 S9 bomb 3/07 (MOW)
Oh, one other thing I learned is that ML with your H forgives adultry in the courts eyes (in my state).
The L I spoke to told me that some spouses will ML with their W or H, and then either refrain from being with the OP, or just be very very careful not to get caught so that they do not have to face adultry grounds in a D.
Nature Girl M 40 H 40 M 15, T 19 D11 S9 bomb 3/07 (MOW)
Thanks Nature Girl....I am looking into all I can.
I talked to my H yesterday. He said he wanted to know if I had signed the Sep papers yet. I told him there were things I wanted changed and I werent going to sign them until they were the way I wanted them. He asked "like what?"...first off the date!! He has Dec 07....I want them changed to April 6, 2008....he didnt sound to thrilled that i wanted them changed but he said ok. I did get angry with him over an email he sent my daughter...2 more that were basically blaming me for him not seein the kids that night and telling my Daughter that I was mean to him and sent him mean texts. He was trying to look like the good guy and make me look bad to our child. I was furious with him....I had worked myself up to the point of saying "I just want you to tell me its over. Your 100% done, finished and that there is no chance for us". I wanted to know. I needed to know he was done with all this childish crap!
Know what he said?
"I cant say that"
Typical...he still doesnt know what he wants, so he is playing the OW, right?
That...is wrong.
I think I am going to have to be the strong one and say "IM DONE".
But can I? I dont know if I am strong enough to do that yet.
Of course I wont give him a chance while he is still like this. I cant and wont.
But i have a feeling the OW is pushing him into getting these papers signed...but they dont mean anything, except financial security...not security he will not come back to me some day. I think that is what she is looking for.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
He can't say that because he's confused. My H can't say it either and it bothers me. I'd just like to know too. If there's no hope for us starting a new marriage, then tell me and let me go so I can (morally) have fun too. I don't know if it's really them being confused or unsure, or if it's them dangling the carrot. I would hope it wasn't the latter because that's just wrong.
You know Dar, it is very wrong. Why cant my H say its over and done? He could always change his mind later if he wanted to come back...but is it him keeping me on a string hoping I will hold on until he is sure of what he wants?
I think My H has this Love/hate R with the OW. HE talks good of her and then can turn around when he is mad at her and say bad things of her. I wonder if his mom or stepmom did that and he has learned that from them.
He still loves me and I think he knows it would work, but he wants to be with the OW and make sure he isnt going to give her up for me, if its going to end with them, he wants it to be because it just wont work.
Nothing about any of this is ever going to work. For one, me and the OW would never get along. My daughter wants nothing to do with her. She wont even stay with her dad now or talk to him. I think him talking bad of me to her in the emails has made her even angrier at him. She is under so much stress that she has pulled her bangs out...which is sad because it had all just grown back in there and she was having pictures made today at school and I had just about talked her into having her pic made without her hat on...but now she will be wearing her cute pink bandana.
He has not a clue what is going on with them...I bet he cant even name the condition she has.
I keep asking myself though, why do I love this man?
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
