Tough Love through a Letter-Advice needed

[Nutty Chick]

I am also a very tolerable person, I guess from earlier traumas in my childhood, I became a push over as I grew up. I would let my H verbally abuse me and do things I did not like all with the fear of him leaving me.

Tipper we are all vulnerable to repeating patterns that we learned in childhood. We get use to being treated a certain way and learn a way of responding to cope.

If we come across someone that triggers something from our past, it often feels comfortable because it is ‘familiar’. I may be a bad feeling and we can get hooked into trying to fix the here and now in order to heal the past.

As a child you had no control over how you were treated, now you do.


You let him verbally abuse you and do bad things to you to stop him leaving.

HE STILL LEFT.


It was your biggest fear that he would leave you.

Your biggest fear was realised … AND YOU COPED!

You remind me of myself. I was Afraid to speak up for what I wanted for fear of losing my H. All of the time that I allowed him to treat me like a doormat, the resentment festered under my skin.

I have read some of your posts Tipper, you are one smart cookie. You have the DBing down to a fine art. This isn’t about your R this is about you.

(((hugs)))

Nutty.