Patience is key

[addie]

Hi Kalni and everyone!
H got back tonight from his job interview and I have the laptop back. He won't know for a few days whether he got the job.
H called several times while he was away. On the first night he talked about how I've been there for him, how I've always been loyal, caring. How he's done things that have hurt me. At one point, he even mentioned that he needs to get counselling. Now, this is a breakthrough - he has never acknowledged that he has issues or that he should see a counsellor eventhough I have tried to get him to see one in the past. I don't think he's ready to go ahead and book an appointment but at least he is starting to think about it.
The night before he flew out, he hugged me tight about 5 times as he was saying goodbye and gave me a kiss on the cheek. During one of the hugs, I gave him a kiss on the cheek as well and he didn't pull back. He also mentioned that he cares alot about us (S11 and I).
When he called the second night he was away, he was more distant. Probably back into his tunnel.
When he came by tonight he was somewhat distant although he said he was tired from the trip. He hugged me when he saw me and again when he left. He also brought me a really nice bottle of Port.
It is obvious H is still confused by the way he reaches out and then retreats into his tunnel again. I am trying to remain fairly detached with few expectations but it's becoming more difficult to do.