Drowning still - 23 years, feel like I am sinking

[CBK]

Well, just a bit of journaling.

All in all, a much better day than yesterday - of course, no way to go but up from there!

I have begun the "detachment" mode...

Got home at usual time and was doing work around the house - I was going to work out, but needed to make dinner for kids, then I was going to gym. W stopped by before her dinner - told he to have fun. S19 came and asked if we could go look at cars. He has been saving his money a long time and I said sure. We ended up buying his car. W wasn't real pleased because she thinks the make has a high repair rate. It was my son's choice and I think he did a great job. He could have afforded a more sporty car, but he said this one had very low miles and was $2000 cheaper and the insurance would be cheaper. I couldn't argue. S19 took W out for spin. We watch our TV show, at the end I asked if S19 told her about decision process, he did a little, so I expanded. She still said she "hopes" it is a good car. I was a bit disappointed, she should be proud of her son for the choices he made. But, really, I was okay. I usually help her get out of her chair, been doing that for years, I put my hand out and she said she can get up by herself. I said okay and walked away. Now off to bed.

My stomach still aches, but hey, I am doing what I need to do. Tomorrow have IC and L to talk to. I will see what IC says about L as well, but right now, I am in a good place about L. Not to draw up papers or to go behind her back, but just so I know what my legal rights are in CA. I will tell W if I go. I thought about telling her tonight, but figured I better go first!

Hope my friends out there find sleep tonight. I have to say, this is the first time in weeks that I actually ate dinner and feel really tired. So no sleep aid tonight. I will kiss my two young adult kids and read my book - a good old Patterson novel - I can only read so many R books!

Peace,

CBK