For the guys with kids and a WAW

[hopeful4her]

WDID
Thank you. It's been about a year and a half since she started to see the other side of the fence. This guy was met about a year ago, already. All online. I have found emails from the past that have her talking to other guys. Some about meeting. Some are about them having to take a cold shower after they talked. All around the same time. She wanted out at that time. I begged and pleaded. After about 2 months of pure hell, she told me she wanted to work on things. Maybe give it a year. About six months later is when they met. She didn't give me the year. About 3 months later it turned into the EA. This is the time line as best I can tell.

Another thing that I told her was that I was not going to give up on her. Ever. That was when she told me that I would hurt.

The funny thing is that she sees the changes that I have made in myself. She has told me.

She is not ok with having the kids part time. Our S conversations always end up with me telling to please leave. Do us both a favor. She always responds with Im not leaving with out the kids. She is not thinking about them, like you did.

Another thing she said was that there was a lot to see in life. I said that there is a lot to see in life, but then she tells me that she wants to do it with OM. This happens to thousands of people everday. I say it doesn't have to happen to us.

On the way home, didn't break down like I thought I would. Just really hurting. I told myself that I knew she was still in contact with him. What is the difference in my actually seeing it. I called a very good friend that knows my sitch and ask him if I could have a room for a couple of days if needed.

At home, WW is in living room with S14 getting ready to watch a movie. I walk in and go straight to bedroom where D11 and D6 are watching our TV. I lay in the middle of them and D6 tells me she had a stomache ache earlier and that she needed me to do our stomache rub that I give her when she has tummy aches. Always better afterwards. I give the tummy rub,tell my daughters that I love them some much and we give kisses. After a while we get up and I change and go to kitchen to get something to drink. Passing by living room, WW tells me there is soup on the stove. I ignore her and get my drink. Get girls to take baths and to bed. I sit at dining room table and start to read paper. WW is in kitchen cleaning up and asks me if I wanted some soup. I say no thank you and continue reading. I hear a sarcastic ok under her breathe. I saw her eyes a little red and slightly wet. After she leaves the kitchen, I decide to make myself some cheese dip and chips to watch my Spurs. I decide to be quiet but not going to look sad.

Later, as she is working on putting away clothes, S14 comes out of room and says there is some kind of spirit in his room. I tell him that because he has been questioning his Christianity, the Devil is playing with him. WW asks what is going on and they go into his room. After about a half hour, I see that she is going to sleep with him in his room. Lights out. I come into bedroom to finish game and come here.

Gonna keep on doing what I plan on doing. I do need to set the appointment with the attorney, but not to get the ball rolling. Just to get the info I need. I will fight for custody of my girls.

As much as I feel I want to right now, I will not initiate the divorce. I will not expose her. Yet. I will cross that bridge when I get there.

Why did God lead me to go to nephews work today? I could have gone to Starbucks. I almost did. That question is starting to haunt me. Why? For her? For me? What is He trying to tell me or her?