I don't think it's such a bad idea to write such a letter for yourself only. It's amazing how at different times we see different things that kind of smack us upside the head and make us really think.
I know the need to stand up for your kids when they're hurt/upset/disappointed. I've found in my case (my D's are 13 and 15) if theyre' willing to give voice to whatever they're feeling with me (D15 is not really) I encourage them to talk to H about it. D13 had the stones to tell him she thought he broke a big promise and lied to her. I only got what she told me (I haven't and won't ask him), but I told her how proud I was of her for taking on such an enormous topic with her Dad. Bottom line, she felt better.
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HE DID NOT REPLY!!
What could he have possibly said?
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I cant do this. I dont want to. HE has so far to go to ever even be considered in my life again.
You can if you choose. Look at how far you've come. You may choose not to, that power will always be within you. Let him be until he's willing and/or able to go that distance.
