If you love your wife, you'd go through hell for her.
This is one of those catch phrases or slogans that sound great until you think too much about it...
It depends on what hell means.
Does it mean waking up at the hellacious hour of 5 am to go for a run so that she still finds you sexy after all this time?
Does it mean offering to cook a really nice dinner when you really want to put your feet up and order another pizza?
Does it mean biting your tongue and letting s/t minor pass instead of 'winning' another argument?
I have seen some very wonderful healed Rs after pretty ugly affairs. But they tend to involve a LBS who stopped overfocusing on the WAS and poured that energy into themselves. Kind of like what one might be doing in 'Surviving' still, just as one might have done through and after all those phases and transitions from Beginners onward.
In a sense, then, if that is the question, and "going through hell" involves some sense of perseverance, steadfastness, and self-discipline,... then I would say 'yes'.
Love is worth fighting for. At some point, if/when that love b/t the two persons is destroyed by the choices/actions of the WAS and LBS and we are set free, it seems like we then have the opportunity to redirect our nurturant and caring love toward our children, ourselves, new intimate others and we may even hold a more loving stance toward the more general other - neighbors, friends, even strangers.
We are wiser, much less foolish, but also hopefully gentler with self and others.
That's a very different stance than the stereotypical "bitter divorcee". BTW, where does this stereotype come from? Is it describing the low energy or exhaustion post-D or is it what happens if one stays over-focused on the X?
