For the guys with kids and a WAW

[hopeful4her]

Ok, I am at a public library. Got off work a littl early.

I am usually long winded, so I will try to summarize as best I can. Bear with me.

Here goes.

Before meeting at different branch, I find WW and OM having lunch together at fast food restaraunt nephew works at. I order drink and he walks out door with his food. I follow outside and he gets in truck. I am staring. Never looks my way. WW comes out and gets bag from him. He leaves and only one quick glance to me. F'ing coward.
Outside, she tells "What, he cant bring me to pick my car?" He brought her to pick up car that nephew borrowed to get to work. He left so as not to cause a scene.
I tell her to tell him to work on his own marriage and leave my wife alone. She says his m is over and she is not my wife. I remind her we are still married. She doesn't want to be married, blah, blah. She tell me she has food inside and do I want to go inside. She reminds me to lock up my car and get my cell phone. WTF. Inside, she asks if I want some of her salad. WTF. I decline and tell her that I want to work on our marriage. She says we have no marriage. I tell her I want to work on our marriage and she says she doesn't want to.
In a nutshell:
She wants her freedom. She says she doesn't want a relationship, but she does want to be with him. I tell her she already has a relationship. He's not a good person to be breaking up a marriage and a family. She says he has offered to break it off, but she has said no. A few times. He knew she was married when the first met, and I tell her that is what makes him bad. He still pursued. I ask her what we can do to work at this. She says she doesn't want to. She says I wouldn't have a problem if OM was not involved. I say I sure would. I want to work on our R, and be best friends. I tell her she is still my best friend. She says that I stopped being her friend. I tell her I didn't. I just set my boundaries. If she is going to end the M like this, then no we wont be friends. I tell her that it is possible to work things out, but not while OM is around. I dont want to give him up. I tell her that things can change. She says they already have. We can get better. I accept my part in what got us here, I tell her. I tell her to stop taking the blame in front of the kids, that she is doing damage that is going to take a long time to heal. She tell me that she know that I am now superdad. Now I want to do everything for the kids and its about f'ing time. I tell her thats bs, that I have always been there for kids, she just didn't see.
She says she is at house for now for the kids, but that is going to change. Still going through with leaving come summertime. Not to live with OM or move in with her mother. She doesn't want to be married and wants her freedom to see who she wants. I tell her that I still feel like God put us together for a reason. She says maybe, but not right now. I tell her that I will wait as long as it takes and do whatever it takes to make it work. She says that I will just hurt. I tell her thats alright. Its what I choose. I already hurt, I tell her. Its that important to me.
Her fork breaks and I go and get her another one. I tell her " I don't want you to move out. I dont want you to leave the house. I dont want you to take the kids away." We sit for a while and we have to leave to go to our meetings. I left meeting a little early and came here.

I AM LOST. I want to throw her out. Take all her stuff and throw it outside. I want her to read my thread. I want to just give it all up. I want to be strong in the face of evil. I want to tell the world my testimony how we made it through it all. I want my wife more than anything else in the world.