Sandi's Here in Piecing from Almost WAW

[CBK]

Sandi -

I have a question for for you - well kind of a question...

I had access to my W's journal - I know - I shouldn't have snooped - what's done is done. In many ways, this will make it easier for me to detach.

She basically said that she is letting her OM work out his marriage, but they are soul mates and she will always be here for him. I know she is slowly breaking it off with him. The troubling part is that she goes on to say that she has no desire to work on us, never will. That we did a good job raising two kids, but we fell apart too long ago. She can said she can honestly look into my eyes and see no love for me. It makes her ill just to think about working on the M with me, it just isn't there and hasn't been for a long time. This is why we should never snoop, but in a way, it will make it easier for me to detach. I need to let her go and work on me. I know there isn't a perfect forumula, and I love this woman with all my heart and soul - and I don't want to give up too easily... She also went to a L, so I have scheduled some time just to see how I should protect myself - it is the free 30 mintute gig. I don't see anything wrong with this.

I loved reading your posts, I have learned a lot from them and, believe it or not, am still holding on to a little hope, not much, but I am being realistic. I have no idea what I am asking, or just telling you. I know I will be okay and I am going to detach slowly. I am still going to MC on Thursday, but wonder if I should just say since we are in different places, I need to work on me with my guy and she needs to work on her with hers and when we are ready to work on our relationship, whether it be friends or lovers, we will come back.

As you can tell, I am confused, heartbroken and my heart is back on my sleeve until W gets home from dinner with a GF.

Advice?

You have such a great voice and perspective. I am trying to follow what you tell me - and I know I am no different than many people on this board.

Thanks,

CBK