Nutty, I am not enjoying it, it has been the worst year of my life. I never knew I could ever feel this unhappy before and I have been through some other truamas in my past - but nothing has ever compared to the way I feel now.
I am a wimp at heart and very non-confrontational with most anything and anyone. My H and I never even really ever fought, we were the best of friends (and he has even made that same comment).
I am also a very tolerable person, I guess from earlier traumas in my childhood, I became a push over as I grew up. I would let my H verbally abuse me and do things I did not like all with the fear of him leaving me.
Again, I think that is what is happening here: I am simply afraid to turn on him and put my foot down because he always goes running when I do. I have only done that about 5-6 times (mostly in the past two months) but it always ends with his response of running and saying I simply cant accept him.
I AM SO AFRAID THAT IF I TELL HIM TO STOP COMING OVER TO SEE THE DOG (and give back the key)OR IF I SAY WHAT I HAD SAID IN THE LETTER TO HIM, THAT IT WOULD AGAIN RESULT IN HIM RUNNING. IF HE RUNS NOW I AM AFRAID IT WILL RESULT IN HIM FILING FOR A DIVORCE AT THE END OF JUNE.
I know I have to be strong around him and that I need to stand up for what I can and cant tolerate and I am at the verge of doing it. But my fears hold me back. And the things I have read here often hold me back because it goes against DBing (being loving and kind and friendly and acting as if, no letters or attempts to change their mind, ect...).
So I feel I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. TIPPER
