Oh Jeanine! I am so sorry you are feeling so down...I can understand how you feel in some ways. I thought about dying alot and dropped to 100 pounds. Couldn't eat: all that stuff but not any bleeding or surgery. please take care of you and maybe have a friend to fall back on- or your mom? WIth all on your mind it is very sweet of you to support me on my thread. I dont know all your past sitch but if you feel like everything is gray and lose that much weight, I think you should ask you DR about anti-depressants. THey worked for me- I dont have to go through life like that anymore- constantly struggling to see the sun. I think I know how you feel on that score. Your H is mentally ill in a way- in his heart and your illness makes him feel worse. I just dont think he has the reserves to give anything right now. I agree with Shiny- you are strong and whatever you can do on your own, do it and if you need support find someone else you are close to. Your H will then get the space to see the forest for the trees and if he offers support then the surprise of it makes it nicer. So I guess I think you shouldnt expect anything from him and expect him to stay away. Your illness makes him feel bad about himself. Most important is to take care of yourself. We are here to check on you and you seem like a caring sweet person. I think in the book DR, talks about pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. You deserve someone there to support you better- H cant do it. We can though!
