Drowning still - 23 years, feel like I am sinking

[CBK]

Thanks Steve - I hear you. I do need to stop and re-evaluate where I am, what I have heard, what I have listened to and what my long term goals are.

I have time, nothing but time right now. As much as it hurts, and we all know that, I need to keep the brass ring in front of me at all times. I can give it a year, not sure if W can or will, but that will be her choice. Today I have made some major decisions - I don't know if you ever talked to a L, but it is only the consultation and I need to find what legally can be done to me if W chooses to. I need to get those ducks in a row in case I get blindsided.

Like I said, today I am taking serious measures to detach. I have my IC tomorrow and then my DB coach on Thursday, then the MC on Thursday - I have a lot of "manning up" to do before I get into the MC again.

After reading my posts this AM from last night, I would not be married to me, let alone date me! I am taking a lot of what Sandi said yesterday - some of it home for me. Puppy has been good as well, always pushing the envlope, and even though we don't agree on everything, he respects my decisions. I need to learn from you all much better and NOT make the same mistakes.

Good news is my bro is coming to town next weekend, so I have somebody to hang with, then my mom and dad are coming up - won't that be fun with W still in the house - to spend some tine with family.

I am staying cool, I am keeping my phone tree close, so when I do falter, and I will again, I call them for support and not talk to W about it.

Peace - this is where I am right this minute - peace.

CBK