SD, yes, my h is 12, didn't you know? this is the man (cough) who used to text, "gt hearts jc" to the ow. gag gag gag. trust me, I mocked him mercilessly when I discovered that little gem last spring. and yep, MLC.
as for my goals, well, am working on sorting those out once again. I've been really focused on keeping things so they have the least impact on the kids. but lately I've found myself (while still keeping that goal in mind) shifting to what I want in my life, what is important to me. all this with h out of the equation, because the only thing I can guarantee in my life is ME. am really starting to find some clarity there...and working on how I will achieve those goals. that will take some time, but plugging away at it little by little.
hey cat! no sand to rinse off my bum this time around, lol, we were in NoVa. maybe next time we can head further south to va beach! thank you sooo much for the info about the mediators. very helpful, I appreciate it.
hey sara! b-day is on the 30th, thanks for asking. and nope, no big bag of poop for me, there better not be. hee. I'm having the kids take me out for lunch and then for dessert at a phenomenal dessert focused restaurant. although I'd like to skip the real lunch and just have dessert. lol.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Sounds like a sweet birthday. I thought you'd seen that little quip on LWB's thread before I wrote that. Well, you did see it. So now it makes sense. Happy Birthday tomorrow!
Sorry I haven't replied to your email - I will I promise. I have been all over the place. I owe sara and yoyo emails too - not quite sure what i have been up to but I guess it's good I have been living life a bit more rather than on the PC. SO pleased to see you posting again.
(((((HUGS)))))))))
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
I'm just having some fun these days M. Spending a lot of time with my boys, traveling a lot, experimenting with some new hobbies/activities and just looking forward to summer.
As for goals... I really kind of feel irresponsible and childish these days because to tell you the truth, I don't really have any goals. Well, aside from my career goals, I really don't have any personal goals. I went through the self-improvement and deep reflection period like most on here, but now I just want to be a bad boy and to hell with what everyone thinks.. lol.
Everyone on here says your suppose to have goals, but I just wait to see what comes my way and if it looks like something I would like to do or something that looks fun, then it becomes my goal for that moment. I'm just really acting on impulse and feeling spontaneous these days. It's good for me now and as long as I'm not hurting anyone, I think I'll stay in this mind frame for a while. No need to really get all anxious over goals, take it day by day and see what opportunity comes your way.
BTW, sorry I'm not going to see you in Memphis, I understand you have other priorities right now. I hope to see you again some other time/place in the future.
Good luck with your move and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! You know you don't look a day over 25 IMO!
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
sara, I saw that on lwb's thread after. lmao. too funny!
hey saffie! so nice to see you. and good for you for living your life off the pc. now that the good weather is here, I plan to be out and about a lot more than I have been. still nice to touch base and see you, though. miss you!
ATGO, I think those non-goals are great, personally. I need some to get my career path settled, and to get my social life swinging again. but you are already cruising on both of those, so I think you are doing just great, personally.
and god bless you for the day over 25 comment. there are worse things than 41, but can someone tell me when I started looking my age? because as sweet as you are, I know the bitter truth. lol.
well, I survived dinner at my parents house. we did my birthday dinner today instead of tomorrow since S6 has tball tomorrow night. it was good. I had to have the talk with them about my D4's dance recital...about how they need to get along/be polite to h while there. this is a joyous time in my life, g-dammit, and I am not going to worry about people getting along. they are not make-a-scene kind of people, but the kids will be around and they need to fake it a bit with him if at all possible. if not possible, well, stay home. I don't want to deal with it.
in fact, I have decided to volunteer to be one of the back-stage moms so I won't be in the audience at all. wooo-hoooo!
yep, very pleased with that decision.
I finally e-mailed h back about the D comment. I just needed to. I was thinking about it way too much. so I just wrote him that I didn't quite know what he meant by that. and he wrote me back that he didn't know himself, that he is very confused, and that he is having a really hard time taking the next steps or even saying the word. which is pretty much what i figured.
I do NOT think he is confused about what he wants. I think he is just confused about why it is so hard for him to make those next steps. and I think that is all about guilt. trust me, I don't think he wants me or is re-thinking things. not anymore. I really don't. that damn glimmer still lives, can't help it, but logic squashes it as much as possible.
had a GREAT session with my IC today. love those. I just see the pattern so much with us...he fights with ow or something isn't going quite as he planned so he freaks out about losing the option of me. its just hard to close that door completely. doesn't mean he really wants me, just scared of having nothing. and me, well, as much as I see it for what it is, that damn glimmer feeds off of it for a bit. I was telling my therapist it is like stopping a train. you know how a train doesn't stop quickly? it takes time and does it gradually. well, everytime H does something like this, I see thru it, but at the same time there is part of me that takes my hand off the lever and the train breaks, but I don't realize it till I am going very slowly or completely stopped (meaning my momentum). I see it clearly now, which is a good step. now to try to counteract those triggers so they don't slow my down too much.
make sense?
am tired. cried the whole way home from my parents house. just a bit of woe-is-me, nothing more. i'm still doing good overall, really I am. just one of those moments. letting that river flow. I feel better for the cry, actually.
hope everyone is doing well. I am tired. just really tired. its only 7:30 and I will be surprised if I make it till 9. off to read for a bit, then lights out.
Last edited by SallyM; 04/29/0811:41 PM.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
I have done lots of crying on the way home from places. Even when I have a great time, its like the sadness hits. And us Mamas/LBS are always tired, so that can have an affect on us.
Good for you for taking a stand and making D4's recital all about her. You should NOT heave to be worried about anything that night, should be enjoying adorable dancers!
thanks my lwb. I don't think I really got thru to my mom. she just kept saying that she won't be rude, but while he is living with her she just cannot embrace him. I am not asking her to embrace him for god's sake, just be civil, even if she has to fake it/grit her teeth to do it.
ugh.
think I might draw a bath and read there. maybe it will help. (okay, any amelia bedelia fans out there have pen and paper ready? lol)
Last edited by SallyM; 04/29/0811:51 PM.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
