Unleash the 2x4's and Let the Beatings Begin

[RedHeadWife]

Ok, I saw your other post on the other thread where you had asked me to come over here. I'll try to tell you what I was saying about the mom/wife syndrome.

I got pregnant w/ our first child immediately after we got married. I truly wasn't even expecting to get married, let alone have children, so this was a HUGE change for me. Anyway, we ended up having 3 boys in the span of 7yrs. I did not like being pregnant at all. I had absolutely no sex drive while pregnant. So, this all left me not knowing who I was at all. I went from this single, confident, self sufficient chick to being married and being a stay at home mom. I had no idea how to be a mom and a wife. I just had absolutely no idea what had happened to ME!!

I ended up pretty much being miserable to tell you the truth. I took it out on my husband instead of trying to make us an inseparable team and allow us to work together to figure out how to handle all the stress etc. I took him for granted as well b/c divorce was not ever an option for me and I had no idea that it would be for him.

I guess I pretty much was just miserable for years and couldn't figure out what I could do to make myself happy. I didn't have time for just me at all.

I found out when I was on maternity leave w/ our 2nd son that H had cheated on me when 1st son was about 18 months. In the span of about 2 or 3 yrs there, he had cheated on me 3 times. I had always thought "you cheat, you're gone," but how could I just kick him out w/ a 4 yr old & a newborn?

We then had our 3rd a few years later and during our D sitch, he told me he had actually talked to a D lawyer, but then we found out I was pregnant.

Fast forward to a year ago January and he all of a sudden said he wanted a D. I was blind-sided. I realized how much I still loved him, how attracted I still was to him, etc. I worked my a$$ off to show him all of this. He went back & forth a bunch of times, but finally decided he truly loved me and wanted to stay.