Last night and this morning we got into a big fight. She wanted more money for another bill she didn't have the money to pay. Like a sap I bailed her out, if it wasn't a utility bill I would of let it go. I tried to remind her that if we had a budget, things like this wouldn't catch us off guard. She yelled at me and told me she didn't want to be lectured. I got angry and told her to come up with the her own money for the bill.
This morning I couldn't stop thinking that I was wasting my time. I know I've said that this is for D10, but I'm only human. Things I've said that I'm sure I should have bit my tongue were:
You need to grow up! If you had any idea you would treat your future H like this why would you even think of getting M'd. I told her I thought she was withholding her affection as a way of controlling the M. I told her she needs to get help. I told her that I've done what I can but our MC isn't helping us and she can see him by herself.
I know I messed up, but I don't care. Before I left the house I told her: I still L you today... I'll still L you tomorrow... but after that I don't know what's going to happen. Then I told her IL her and left.
I don't think she heard anything I had to say. Our M is a joke, yesterday I said we don't have, fortune, we don't have fame and we don't have L keeping us together.
I'm angry... I'm tired... I'm hurt...
Whoever reads this an MLC isn't the easiest thing to deal with. I don't see my W changing at all. Unless she wakes up and give the M some real effort I see a divorce in our future.
