A Ray of Hope - I hope

[sage]

Jeannine --

Crud. What a weekend to be away from the boards. I see that many of your BB friends have circled you and offered up comfort.

Ah....I'm so sorry that your h. feels as though he had to leave in order to find himself. I am grateful, though, for his honesty with you, his conscious offering of fidelity and trust, his sharing of his feeling with you -- that he sees the changes you have made (calm) and needs to feel as though they are lasting, that he still feels himself to be giving in at times and he knows he needs to shore himself up, that it is you (not ow) that he wants.

I suspect you are doing a balancing act right now -- battling your abandonment issues (that I KNOW so WELL) and keeping your DB cap screwed on tightly...I know that it's not easy but I also know that you will persevere. While your h. is off growing, you'll be growing, too -- because you will have stared your "don't leave me" demon square in the eye and realized that you will be ok.

I have the strongest sense that your h's leaving is actually his very conscious way of coming back to you.

Do everything that you can to take care of you.
Give your h. the space that he needs (I know you will).
Brian's advice is great (and I took it for myself, too!) -- confident beats needy any day.

I'm sorry that you and h. are going through this.

Sage