voice mail of our song -advice pls

[buenosuerte]

if he would have done this a month a go i would have called upon getting his number immediately. now, all advice, db books, etc stress patience and going slowly.

i do think he is fishing to see where i am at, but i think i'm going to wait about a week to call. i think in the relm of respect he needs to step up and make real contact with me, either calling me or coming over for a face to face. now will he do this i don't know. i do know that he is so expecting me to jump so fast to call him and i'm not gonna do that. true he now in his own way put the ball in my court but how in the world can he expect after lrt of 40 days no contact whatsoever he could just jump into seeing his daughter. when for the last 7 3/4 months of her life he has been a ghost, she doesn't even know him.

i've done fairly well for those 40 days lost 18 lbs, trying to get back to the gym, daughter won't let anyone else watch her, they call me 20 mins into my workout bcuz she's crying hysterically, i haven't given up on that, but want to do it at her pace for less stress on her. i've even managed to go out 1 time after my d has been in bed asleep for the night and have plans for this sat to do it again. all part of my gal. i know that if i contact him i may slip back into the waiting aroudn for him and i don't want that.

i don't know, the fact he writes what i wanted in life i can no longer have - rips me apart, like telling me that is hope on his end and testing the waters to see where i'm at.

i remember when we met, i was body building not bulky but toned, went out every weekend and the second he went to get us a drink 3 men would be hitting on me, he had to totally step up his game, and yes i do miss that. i just think he feels after a friend of mine sent him a msg that i'm now dating and (which i'm not) unavailable to him so now he wants me. more of michele's we all want what we can't have.

after thinking about it, come on now, he hasn't supported his d for months what about that? when i think of it that way, hey he needs to step up his game, make some concessions for our daughter before he gets the keys.