Drowning still - 23 years, feel like I am sinking

[CBK]

Thanks M - went and read your thread as well.

I think where I am right now is to work on detaching from W. I think this is the healthist thing I can do. As much as you all have told me to, I now have to really figure out how to do this. W is totally detached, that is what is making me mad I am sure!

I know I will be okay, the B was dropped just over a month ago, I feel lucky in some ways as I found this site relatively quickly - that may be good and bad. Bad in the sense that it is taking me longer to get through the emotional roller coaster - I need to hope off that one!

The only think I know about the A is that she is still connecting with him emotionally - as long as that is going on, there is no us. A good friend basically said he may as well be in your house using your toothbrush - horrible visualization, but his point was well taken.

It will be a long and winding road, lots of turns and u-turns and a lot of hills I am sure I will backslide down. I thought I was getting ready for battle in some earlier posts - I am at least getting a bit closer. Last night was a wake up call about how much work I need to do for me and my kids.

As for L - I do feel as if I need to just get advice. Custody isn't a big thing as our kids are 19 and 20. I will start making copies of our financial information for my own records. I am sure W has done this as well. I just want to be sure I am protected and that I don't do something stupid - that is all. I am not about to draw up papers or ask that we have separate checking accounts - that is my last resort.

The only good thing about crying is that my stomach muscles get a work out - may get a 6 pack if I keep this up!

CBK