Finding DB late in the game #4

[cw68]

Well, he was feeling well enough today to just go right into work without stopping by. As I told him, I was glad that I didn't tell the kids they would get to see him this morning, which I almost did. The kids are having a hard time with what's going on right now, but I am so proud of them that they are dealing with it so well.

Got some advice from my MIL during her visit. After the first day here, where she saw each of the kids cling to me at some point and tell me they didn't want me to go, she said that perhaps I shouldn't be saying goodbye to them or that I'd miss them, etc. That I should just put them to bed like usual, not mentioning that I was leaving or anything. She thought that if I just didn't bring it up or acknowledge those feelings that perhaps they wouldn't feel them. I told her that I appreciated the thought behind the suggestion but that this whole thing is here in this way because Oliver hid his feelings and I want my kids to feel free to express their feelings, that I can deal with anything they feel and I want them to know that I'm here for them. Uncharacteristically, she didn't say a word.

I digress. The kids. Yesterday at Target S5 kept saying that he loved Dad, didn't want him to go back to the apartment etc. When I told H this morning that I'm glad I didn't tell them they'd get to see them (and I didn't say it all b*tchy or anything) he asked how they were and I had to tell him the truth, that yet again in the morning they told me that they want to be able to hug me every morning, that it's not fair that they can't. H seemed affected by it.

It's not that I want him to feel guilty. But I do want him to really mull it over in his mind, in his heart and make sure he's thinking completely about what he's thinking of doing and how it's going to feel to the kids. This is something that we have the power to stop so they don't get hurt by it. Whether or not he choses that, I don't know.