I was totally twisted last night, and still am this morning. On my way to work, I was going through all the scenarios.
1) Do nothing, and begin to detach from W 2) During MC, ask what our goal is here since we are not working on the R - W just wants the elusion that she is working on it - so why are we in MC? 3) Tell W that since she is not playing by the "rules" - contacting L, contacting OM - I am not going to play by the rules and expose A. I am letting her live her fantasy without any consequences.
I know which on Puppy will vote for ;-) but I am really trying to figure this out.
As for L - I feel as if I need to protect myself, what landminds are out there that I should be weary of? I know she wants me out of the house, that isn't going to happen - but what if I do something stupid (I know I am leaving myself open on that one).
I did get up the AM, W did say good morning. When I left, I said good bye. She is having dinner with one of mutual friends, so I get to play with the kids - maybe go hit the movies or something.
I have got to STOP playing the victim, this I get, my mood swings are vicsous - and if you would have read what I read, you would think there is no hope... Hope is what I have been holding onto, hope is slowly slipping away from my fingertips.
CBK, it's ok to have hope but you must be realistic also. Our W's may not come back, they may not work on the M. Does that mean that you and I are going to rollup in a fetal position and not be able to function?? Naw, you and I are big boys. we are the hero's in our sitch's. we are working our asses off to be better people, be better at R's in general whether they be R between lovers or freinds. We are learning from our past R mistakes. Our W's are all caught up in their "stuff" right now. we can't do anything about their "stuff"..
Exposing the A is up to you. I don;'t know what I would do in that sitch. I can't offer advice. I can see PDT's point and I see the others points also.
Nothing wrong with seeing a L and protecting yourself. Being relistic is being proactive I believe. You can see one when you have to answer her filing. That's what I did.
We are not the VICTIMS, WE ARE THE HERO's. We are the ones gutting it out in the trenches fighting to keep our families together..Keep your emotions in check, they are your worst enemie.
if you bring up what you mentioned In MC-I bet she will say she is doing MC so you can remain friends after the D.
Last edited by M from Tennessee; 04/29/0803:48 PM.
