IM GOING TO GET RID OF HER.....THEN IN THE SAME BREATH I FORGET TO CALL IM BUSY.....IDIOT.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Either you need to do something to change your situation, or you be patient, and pray about it. You are the only one to make this decision.
Personally, I would not bring OW up unless he does and I would not bring up those apartments unless he does.
I think the more that is brought up by you, the more he will want to rebel but we do not know if he is still seeing her. I know you want to trust him and he has got to prove that to you.
Remember how much they hate mommy-types, those who appear to nag and be controlling---you do not want to give him that impression.
Sometimes I wonder if he came home too soon but he is home and does not seem to want to move out again.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
WELL IM NOT NAGGING HIM JUST STATING THE FACTS, I HEAR HIS WORDS AND SEE NOTHING HAPPENING.....
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
I understand what you are saying. To him, and in his mind, he may consider it nagging even if that is not what you meant.
I honestly would lay off talking to him about getting her moved out, etc. for awhile and see what happens. It takes time and things do not happen overnight as you well know.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I honestly would lay off talking to him about getting her moved out, etc. for awhile and see what happens. It takes time and things do not happen overnight as you well know.
And just how many months waiting is she meant to do ON TOP of the months of waiting she has already done.....and on top of all the other little snippets like phone calls and visits etc she has found out about??????
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Well, it has been stated that it takes well over a year to get over the other person.
Expect that there will be calls in the beginning but he must be very open with Patti.
However, as time goes on, he must be able to cut the contact with OW.
How she handles it after that is up to her.
Personally, I would not kick my husband out over that because I would be thankful that he is home. I would be in that prayer closet every day praying about this.
Things do not happen overnight.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Expect that there will be calls in the beginning but he must be very open with Patti
.
Great if he were honest - but he wasn't.
I totally agree that Patti has to do what she thinks is right - but this is no where near piecing - it's more like H taking the piss.
Patti knows that I say this with love. I am calling it how I see it. I already said once to her I would stop commenting if she wanted me to. At the moment there is NO incentive for him to change. That doesn't matter if she is happy to live with it as it is - but come on folks - does Patti sound happy to you?
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Saffie, I so agree, and no Pattie does appear happy. Waiting for years having a H home who still continues an affair must require a special kind of hair shirt. Patti you have had opposite views on this, but we all wish you well.
yes I appreciate everyones input!! I seem to be ok one minute patient and then sometimes all right all ready i just want to bring this to a head.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
