I see the thread about "what every newcomer should know has locked". It looked like there was an interesting argument going on.

I wanted to add a few cents to that, but couldn't since it was locked. To Rob, I have looked at the piecing thread. I think that occasionally people move to "piecing", when they are far from out of the woods, so I wouldn't take those numbers as proof of success.

My opinion, and since it's my thread I can express it, is that there are some pluses as far as growth through this process, but it also leads to some negatives...that eventually you also have to work through.
One negative is taking the blame for everything bad that occurred in the marriage. You weren't the monster you were painted. It isn't necessarily true that all you have to do is fix yourself and everything will be rosy. While the WAS probably does have some legitimate gripes, they have problems of their own, sometimes major ones, and these may rear their ugly head despite your best efforts.
Hope can be a good thing, but also a negative. Too much hope leads to expectations that your spouse is going to do something you want. It leads to looking too hard at every little thing as a sign of positivity. I sometimes felt that this site actually stood in the way of moving forward. I think there may be more successes with this site than with not doing it, but I wonder how much of that is simply the act of stretching it out long enough for your spouse to come around. Just idle musing.

Me

You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer