Wow, it's almost easier to go dark and let him spin for now. But the nurturing side says the opposite. I hope you're continuing to do great for you SF.
THAT CRAP OF I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU...COP OUT BEFORE THE BAD NEWS.....UHM...IF SHE MEANS NOTHING WHY IS HE "TORN" BETWEEN YOU AND HER?
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
feels he cannot make a decision about his life because he has done so much harm and he is torn between me and other woman
says i really do not understand what goes on in his head
is miserable
when i asked what he wanted to talk to me about i asked if that meant he was not coming back home and he said he does not know what will be due to all of the damage he has caused
hoowee.
I heard these exact same things from FW.
They know the work that they will have to do to repair the damage they caused is monumental and it overwhelms them.
They fight what they know is right, because what is right is not always what is easy.
But, God keeps tugging at their hearts. Keeps letting them know where HE wants them to be, what HE wants them to do.
They try to ignore it, push it aside, get rid of it by various ways, but they can't.
Time to step up the prayers and treat him the way God would treat him.
I know you already do this, but just a reminder.
he's definitely still on the edge. He's just hanging out there a lot longer than FW did.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
patti-read yellowrose's sitch as it is so similar to mine. same thing--it is a lot of guilt.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
BFM, how does someone treat one the way God would while going NC? I'm asking for my own sitch and not necessarily SF's. I think she's doing quite great and being very loving during all this spinning. If you don't want to advise here due to the hijack, you can go to my thread too. Thanks!
BFM, how does someone treat one the way God would while going NC? I'm asking for my own sitch and not necessarily SF's. I think she's doing quite great and being very loving during all this spinning. If you don't want to advise here due to the hijack, you can go to my thread too. Thanks!
In my counseling sessions with the pastors, they told me NOT TO set rules and to allow him to come over, if he calls and wants to talk, talk to him, be kind, love from a distance, that sort of thing.
They did give me Biblical references to this behavior and also, Jesus did not deny anyone, he accepted them no matter what sin they committed.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
He is spinning so fast and seems to be on the edge. He really did look terrible yesterday and I had not seen him in two weeks!
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
In my counseling sessions with the pastors, they told me NOT TO set rules and to allow him to come over, if he calls and wants to talk, talk to him, be kind, love from a distance, that sort of thing.
I remember you telling me this a long time ago....boy I tried it in my sitch...but my H was one of those who took advantage and never saw anything 'wrong' with the situation....I wish I could have lived through this without setting the rules ...but my heart was too weak and my H too full of himself to see.
I DO admire you greatly SF ! You know that !
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
If you don't want to advise here due to the hijack, you can go to my thread too. 