We are in so much the same situation. Separated but cohabitating.
I an DBing like crazy and following the telephone coaches advice. The baby steps continue but there is no real tangible progress. The biggest thing for me was to realize that this is not really about me. It is about her. I can set the stage for a reconciliation, present myself as a better and better option and then get ready for my new life. I cannot change her mind, speed it up or make her do anything that she doesn't want to do. If you can force yourself to step back and just let her be then you will feel better, she will have more space and you can focus on GAL. I still have weak moments but they are getting fewer and farther between.
WE HAVE TO MAKE THE TRANSITION TO LET THEM GO EVENTUALLY. I think that the key is to do it ASAP. That will maximize your chances of success.
