Only in my own mind. But thank you for the compliment!
"Accept him for now- smile have sex, touch alot, dont quiz him. If he talks, nod and listen."
The following day I resolved to do these very things, even wrote him a letter (which I mentioned in a previous post to Kelli).
I guess my mind processed what I had written to H on Tuesday, because later I had what seemed like a shift of perspective. It lasted only a minute or so, but I suddenly found myself looking at me through my H's eyes. It was vivid and jarring.
It has been a pesky conundrum for me up to this point that my H is so intensely attracted to me on a sexual level, but seems unable to handle our day to day existance together in a relative state of comfort.
I'm not blaming myself in full for that, because my H has some real issues of his own. However, I think I see a little bit better where the divide began and how I continue to push him away.
My life long partner and big, bad, royal pain in the a*s is my issue with Mr. Abandonment . That's who I've really been married to all these years. I have bent to his will and have been his puppet.
I am not even close to facing this "Goliath", but I know he's around and lurking and I want a divorce!
But thank you for the compliment!