Thanks for coming to my aid. I know that this time of year is especially difficult for you, (I've been keeping watch on your situation too). It always touches me to see how those who are going through such tough times themselves, still manage to reach out to others.
"You know your H has alot of personal baggage to deal with, and he's most likely projecting alot of that on you right now. In my opinion, that's what you are seeing now. He's learning that the OW is not the answer, so he's got to look a little deeper. "
Kelli, I think that you've hit it on the nose. As much as I don't like to admit it, my H does have some serious issues to deal with. As much as I'd like to, I can't fix everything. So I'm going to work on those things that I can fix, mainly my own issues.
Jeannine
To add to the equation though, I must agree with Sage about my needing to take note of what H told me.
I wrote H a letter and sent it to his email folder yesterday. I wrote it in a conversational tone and laid out a number of points. One point was aimed at how we can find a meeting ground. I outlined what is working in our relationship and suggested that we do more of that and I validated what he had told me the night before and expressed how I intended to work on that and how he could help me in that regard.
It was a lengthy letter, I spent a lot of time on it. I kept it light and friendly.
I also hardened my resolve to DB my fanny off when he got home dispite the fact that I was shaking in my boots and not knowing how he would receive my letter.
He read it before we sat down to dinner and when he came out of the study, (computer is in there) he had a pained look on his face. I thought, "oh no, my letter was ill received." I asked him if he was not feeling well and he said that his stomach was hurting. For about an hour and half H said nothing about the letter and I was wondering whether I'd made a mistake in writing it.
Normally, I would have asked him if he had read the letter I'd sent him. This time, I buttoned my lip.
Later, as I was perusing the news on my laptop and H was watching TV, he turned to me and said, "I got the email". I just looked at him but said nothing. "It was very nice, thank you" he said warmly. I reached over and put my hand on his arm and said "you're welcome honey" and then went back to reading. On the outside I looked calm and collected, but inside, my stomach was trading places with my liver.
